Sofa

Sadness (Merriam-Webster):

affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness : downcast

b (1): causing or associated with grief or unhappiness : depressing 

People write and talk about being happy all of the time. I even wrote a whole blog post focusing on happiness(Wet Happiness) . That’s how we’re supposed to live our lives right?? With butterflies floating around, and fairy tales–us skipping around in a flower field with a smile on our face. It’s perfect. If you know me, or have read any of my blogs you know I like to talk about the things nobody else wants to mention. The things that scare us–the things nobody touches upon. Something rarely mentioned or brought up is sadness. For some reason, we dont like to talk about the nights spent crying rivers into your pillow, or the burning that starts in your heart and radiates throughout your whole body when you experience heartbreak. Even more so, we dont talk about the times where you would stare blankly at the wall or ceiling saying absoultely nothing. But inside that blank expression–walls were crumbling, and floods wiping away the existence of anything.

Society holds an abundance of expectations for us as individuals. We are supposed to feel, think, and act a certain way 24/7. I hear it all the time and I’m sure you do too: “cheer up,” “it’s okay,” “turn that frown upside down.” These are all phrases we tell people when we are feeling anything but happiness. How often do we actually allow ourselves to admit that we’re sad? “I’m fine.” “I’m just upset.” “Don’t worry about it.” These are all just substitutes that mask the real emotion we’re feeling. Anytime someone is down we begin to feel awkward or internally freak out–we don’t know what to do. Our immediate response is to tell someone to not feel sad, because it’s not right to be sad. We don’t like to see people hurting, and we don’t like to be hurt ourselves; so we suppress these emotions, this sadness that is eating away at us–and soon enough we end up crumbling. You’ll find yourself living on a soft tempurpedic sofa filled with your emotions, wilting away as the days go on.

I believe there is purpose in sadness. Sadness marks loss, hurt, anger, resentment,  disappointment–the list goes on and on. While most of us think that this aching and burning in our chests is a bad thing that must go away, it is the opposite. Sadness allows us to transition through our emotions. Sadness makes us acknowledge that something has indeed happened. “Thats the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.”- John Green, The Fault in Our Stars. Like most anything in life, if we do not effectively communicate our emotions if we let them sit inside us and fester, those emotions begin to kill us. The pain intensifies as our body tries to tell us that something is wrong. The more it’s ignored the stronger the pain gets until there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. The infection has spread all over the body–you’re done. I can not express to you how important it is to let yourself feel. Stop running for the hills when sadness comes knocking at your door, let the river flow.

Sometimes all you need is a good cry. You can imagine how therapeutic a good 3 minute cry feels. For me, in a lot of instances, that was all I needed to feel better. But everyone is different and crying won’t work for every individual. While it is okay to be sad it is equally as important to address and deal with it as well. Cry, read a book, run, write, hang out with your friends, take a nap. Do whatever you need to feel better. When it feels as though a cloud is hanging over our heads, those are the days we push people away the most. We do this because it is easier to try and forget about what is going on and not bother others with our problems. But getting through your problems and ignoring your problems are two completely different things. If you’re like me then you don’t share how you feel because it feels like you’re burdening others with your problems; I promise you that if your friends and family truly care about you they will not see your problems as a burden, they will want to help.

It’s okay to sit on the sofa with a box of tissues and a double cheeseburger while binge watching friends (totally not referencing myself at all). The ups and downs in this crazy adventure called life shape us into the people we are today. You will not grow with only happiness, and you will not grow feeling only sadness. Feelings let you experience life to the fullest. We have 4 main emotions for a reason. Feel them

-T.T.

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